The things you see when you’re out without a gun!

This is one of my Granny’s sayings. Usually it referred to someone who was dressed eccentrically or revealingly, or behaving ridiculously or inappropriately. We saw a few instances where she’d have said it today!

Amy, Mum and I were in town and first saw a girl probably about 18 with her (presumed) boyfriend and mum. She was wearing patterned tights that looked kind of lacy, and double denim-ing it up like a pro. Only, from the back you couldn’t tell there were 2 kinds of denim, as her denim shirt was butt-skimmingly low enough to completely obscure her denim hot pants. I say hot pants, more like the most uncomfortable knickers in the world, they were that small!

Now, we actually didn’t talk about the girl much, we were busy chatting about the dynamic between her and her mum. Mum was absolutely agog that anyone would allow their daughter to wear such (a lack of) clothes, and suggested that had we tried to leave the house like that she’d have had a fit. At this point Amy and I burst out laughing at the absurdity of the idea of leaving the house alive dressed like that, and Amy said we’d never have tried, at which point I said in an imitation of mum, “Oh, you want to wear that? fine, you can be buried in it!”

I tried to get a stealthy picture a la daddy cool in Asda as the shorts were absurdly tiny, but my phone camera wouldn’t load fast enough and they were gone. Plus, mum said she wouldn’t want to put a picture up anyway, as it was too much!

We had a lovely time shopping in Created in Yorkshire, a fab craft shop in The Ridings in Wakefield. It’s a small co-operative that we were tipped off to as a friend is selling her wares there! Everything was gorgeous, and I bought this stained glass angel Christmas tree decoration. Yes, in August. We love Christmas in our house!

It was all so lovely though, I wanted to buy ALL the things, including a gorgeous canvas with embroidered poppies in black, with red felted petals, it was beautiful, I was very tempted to ask for the price. I’ve got a feeling I’ll be back there again.

Then we came across crazy incident number 2. As we were getting in the lift to leave, a very elderly lady in a wheel chair was being pushed out, by a FIVE YEAR OLD girl. She was on the wrong floor so we tried to steer her right, but it turned out she was in the wrong lift too. It turned out that her son (the little girl’s dad) had refused to go in the lift (a fear) and the little girl needed the toilet. He got the Grandma to take her, only she was in a wheelchair that couldn’t be self propelled as it had little wheels, and she looked as if she couldn’t have pushed herself anyway. So the 5 year old – who seemed younger even than that – was pushing her, and had gotten in the wrong lift. We managed to figure out where they needed to go, though only because she knew she’d parked in shop mobility, and only one car park has it. In the end we took them right to their car, as we couldn’t find the son who’d apparently waited by the lift. It’s scary to think what could have happened, as they were both clearly quite vulnerable. Let’s just say we weren’t exactly thinking too kind thoughts about the Dad/Son guy in that situation!

After we finished our tour of the lifts and car parks, we went to Lidl so Hayley could spend her birthday money on Dolls house sets, and I picked up some bargain birthday presents for a couple of Ethan’s friends. However the best part was spotting this on the sign outside – apologies for the terrible reflective picture:

The Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Weapon! Cut down the undead while maintaining a safe distance from the splatter of unwanted zombie juice! 3 year Guarantee, if you live that long! Also chops down trees for fortifying your home/bunker. Buy now and be prepared!
We also had plans to visit the Hepworth Gallery, but it was shamefully cast aside to fit in shopping for the adults, shopping for the kids, and an eyebrow threading for Amy. Another time perhaps.
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